Almost kilig moment

Just one of our daily conversations.

Elda: Ced, may ipapakilala ka pala sakin, hindi mo naman sinabi, sana nagsuklay man lang ako.

Cedie: Nabigla din ako. Sorry, hindi ko inexpect yun.

E: Nakakahiya tuloy, ang panget ko ba?

C: HINDEEEE. *shakes head*

E: *kilig* ay talaga, so maganda naman ako?

C: NOOO. normal lang. normal na kulot na tao.

E: ah okay. -_-

That's what you get for asking! hahahaha :D

Happy 19th Birthday Cedric!

Its always on my way home, whether driving, in a shuttle or the LRT, that I get to think of how my day went. And usually, its when its traffic that my thoughts extend to my life. 19 out of the 24 years of my existence have been meaningful because of you. If there’s anything in my life right now that I am most proud of, its constantly doing my best to be a good sister to you – to give you the life that I believe you deserve.

And no, I don’t think I’m even close to that. It’s been tough, there’s still a long way to go and im not even sure if I’ll ever get there. But I promise you one thing – that I will never give up.

I wish I didn’t kick the Lego blocks that you used to line up as a kid so you didn’t have to scream and cry so bad. I wish I didn’t make fun of how you were stimming. I wish I didn’t think you were just acting up when 2 adults had to hold you down whenever you get a haircut. I wish I was never ashamed of you back in High School when you’d drop by to call me ‘cos Papa’s already there to pick us up. I wish I have learned everything that I knew about Autism now 19 years ago. Things might have been different. I wish I understood all along.

But I will never stop trying.. to understand you.. to learn from and for you.. to make people realize what you and individuals with Autism are about. That beyond the tantrums, there is a gift to discover. A gift that no amount of pain, guilt and discrimination could keep us from feeling blessed for.

I guess more often than not, people fail to see what you have done for me. I would not even be half of the person that I am now if not because of you. Thank you for being so supportive of me, for caring even when I never asked you to, and for trying so hard to understand.Thank you Ced for being my inspiration, for even the littlest things, for everything.

Happy Birthday Ced. I will always be by your side. 

I call them Angels.

For some reasons, He has been really good to me and my family. He occasionally sends Angels to help us get through life and a lot about it – especially the difficult parts. 


DJMAX Technika is one of the very few things that my brother is very interested in. And im sure when I say ‘very interested’ those of you who know someone with AS would know what that meant. In his language, this is one of the reasons of his every waking moment. He extremely looks forward to that day of the week that he could go to play this game or meet with the friends he’s met through this. That would mean meeting no less than the Incredible Hulk the moment you try stopping him from playing this. 

These machines are in arcades in malls all over Metro Manila -or at least that’s where he plays it. For the dorky stuff of the game, he is a leader of one of the crews that he’s put together. I guess you can make teams and battle against the others. I’ve tried playing this once for the heck of it. It was indeed fun yet not something I’d do again so I don’t totally understand why they’re hooked up but let them be anyway. You just have to poke the little buttons along with the beat of the music (think Daft Punk). I’m not quite sure about the more specific details and how it works but I must say that it wasn’t really just playing - they have some sort of a culture there. They have unwritten rules and threads to name some of what makes them. They’re a community. 

At first glance, they’d seem like typical kids of these days getting addicted to some video game but i refused to think this way when I met what I’d call an angel here. Of course I wouldn’t name him so Cedric wouldn’t stop being friends in him (in the slightest possibility that he reads my blog). 


He’s messaged me a number of times about Cedric, constantly updating me on how he has been and what kind of impression he’s been making on others. This may seem to be a small thing but it helps us be in track of him even when we aren’t around. Its like having an extra eye to watch over him in times that we couldn’t. 

I’m writing this post for you and all the other angels who have been there for us. Thank you for your understanding and concern - but most importantly, for your love. You are a blessing. You may never understand the gravity of what seems to be little things that you are doing for us but these are always appreciated. Please know that we will always be grateful for all of your help and that we will continually pray for you and your good heart’s desires. 

Now if there's only more of you. ;)